How to Own The Room: Women and the Art of Brilliant Speaking by Viv Groskop
Welcome once again to the Hugoversity library, where each month we review a PR and marketing-related book to help our students keep on learning.
For this month’s book review, Captain Grammar Sian read How To Own The Room, by Viv Groskop, a book to help you market your most important commodity – yourself.
What’s it all about?
From the blurb: “Most books about public speaking don’t tell you what to do when you open your mouth and nothing comes out.
“And they don’t tell you about how to get over the anxiety about performance that most people naturally have.
“They don’t tell you what to do in the moments when you are made, as a woman, to feel small. They don’t tell you how to own the room.
“This book does.”
Why just women? First, some context
Surely everyone could benefit from a little advice, especially if they’re nervous about speaking in public? Of course, and the lessons contained in this book will no doubt be useful to anyone having a little wobble.
However, as Groskop notes from the off: “Almost all the books ever written about public speaking and rhetoric have been about men, by men and for men.
“We all know the inequalities women have faced, and that for centuries there was opposition to women being heard.
“We all know that cultural norms and social conditioning cause some women to impose limitations on themselves and be overly self-critical. No sensible person would dispute this. I’ve felt such pressure myself. Few women haven’t.”
And so Groskop leads us through her roll call of inspirational female speakers, exhorting readers to find a persona and circumstance that matches theirs and see what they can learn.
So, what makes a great speaker?
In short, everything and nothing. What keeps the book fresh and entertaining is Groskop’s choice of role models.
Each chapter focuses on a particular woman and speech, from the calm and inspirational Michelle Obama to the abrasive and confrontational Joan Rivers.
On the surface, these women have little in common – even in terms of fame: body language expert Amy Cuddy gets a chapter to herself, without being what anyone would call a household name.
However, all are women in the public eye to some extent who have made a speech that everyone can learn from.
Do I need to be an extrovert?
No, not at all. Many of the women in the book could be described as introverted, such as JK Rowling and Amal Clooney. Many are obviously uncomfortable themselves with public speaking, yet manage to give brilliant speeches because they care about what they are saying.
While people such as the aforementioned Rivers and Ellen DeGeneres clearly thrive on the audience’s attention, Groskop talks us through how even the most nervous of speakers can make a real impact.
Something to talk about
What shines through across all the examples is the passion these women have for what they are talking about. Whether it’s Michelle Obama’s rousing, ‘When they go low, we go high’, speech, or JK Rowling’s heartfelt commencement speech to Harvard University students, conviction goes a long way to assuage any nerves.
As she writes about JK Rowling: “People expect her to be amazing. But think about the burden that represents: she has chosen to live her life squirrelled away, writing books.
“Do you think she likes the idea of putting on a silly hat and a university gown and telling people how to live a good life? I doubt it.
“Yet she does it with grace and ease… overcoming her own reluctance about giving this speech to say something important.”
Do I need a good memory?
Well, it would be great if you could speak without your head buried in a script, but using notes is fine.
Groskop highlights two TED Talks by author Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, both of which went viral with more than 15 million views each.
In both cases, she reads from notes, yet, due to the conviction of her words, this does not detract from the impact of her speech. As Groskop writes: “Why leave such an important speech to chance? Or to an autocue that might malfunction?
“Adichie’s speech shows you can read aloud (about storytelling and feminism) and still have your words connect with the audience in an incredibly powerful way.”
How can I be better?
Each chapter ends with some practical tips, tricks and exercises to do at home to improve your public speaking. These include checking your posture, practicing in front of a mirror and thinking of topics you’d like to talk about.
There’s also a helpful appendix at the end with cheat sheets, FAQs and a guide to creating public speaking opportunities – after all, there’s no point being a brilliant speaker if nobody’s going to hear you.
What did we learn?
It might sound corny, but we learned that everyone has the potential to give a great speech or presentation.
We learned it’s ok to be nervous, and even to admit to it in your speech. We learned it’s ok to use notes. We learned that even the most poised women feel nervous before public speaking.
And we learned that we’ve all got something to say – and the right to be heard.
