Hello and welcome to the first Hugoversity library entry of 2022, where we review PR and marketing-related books so our students can plan their reading lists.

Head Girl Charlotte started the year as she means to go on with Happy Sexy Millionaire, by the newest Dragon in the Den, Steven Bartlett. Here’s what she thought…

What’s it all about?

Don’t let the ostensibly shallow title fool you; this book is actually a deep reflection on fulfilment, love and success, all learned throughout Steven’s journey from a university dropout to multi-millionaire entrepreneur.

The central premise of the book is somewhat ironic.

That’s because, for those of you who don’t know, Steven made his fortune ($300m) from his social media business, Social Chain. However, this book argues that it is social media that is destroying the social blueprint our lives are built upon, polluting our minds.

In another seeming contradiction, Steven also admits to being an avid user of social media and one of the most followed businesspeople on the networks. What does he use his accounts for? To warn people of the negative effects of social media. 

However, these discrepancies aside, I thoroughly enjoyed this book. There’s so much wisdom packed into it, told in a memorable way with humorous real-life examples of its application, that it makes it an easy read.

One of the most memorable moments for me is when he compares the elation he felt at finding loose change down the back of a takeaway sofa while being a struggling, hungry entrepreneur to the relatively sedate moment of realising he had become a multi-millionaire. In that moment, he discovered he already had everything he needed in life to make him happy and dispels the myths about happiness that we’ve been led to believe.

Below, I’ve distilled some of the book’s key messages, along with some of Steven’s own quotes – he has a real way with words.

Happiness

Steven argues that happiness is not something you can win, or a goal to be attained. Until you give up on the idea that happiness is somewhere else, and that you’ll suddenly become happy when you have a new car, a new job or a new relationship, you’re never going to become happy.

In fact, he points out that one of the great paradoxes of happiness is that you have to call off the search in order to find everything you’ve been searching for.

And as for the world wide web bringing us closer than ever? Not according to Steven – he believes that as our internet connections have got stronger, our meaningful connections have got weaker.

Comparison is the thief of joy

This has always been one of my favourite quotes, and it’s really brought to life in Steven’s words.

He points out that constant comparison of other people’s social media highlights makes people miserable and can lead to the development of mental health issues – something that has been well-documented, particularly with regards to Instagram and young girls’ self-esteem.

One of the most important lessons to learn, he writes, is to be happy with your own self-worth and what you have: “The only worthwhile comparison is you yesterday vs you today. If you want to be happy, you have to focus on that.”

Bartlett also highlights that as well as comparing ourselves, we seek constant validation and approval from others online, but that you can’t always believe what you see.

“The most convincing sign that someone is truly living their best life, is their lack of desire to show the world that they are living their best life! Your best life won’t seek validation.”

Maslow et al

I loved how Steven draws on the wisdom of ancient philosophers, savvy stoics and ‘old school’ business theories, bringing them to light to be relevant to the hyper-connected world we live in – their theories still have a place, in many cases, more so than ever.

As he writes: “Most of the ‘new age’ techniques that aim to improve your mental health are based on ‘old age’ principles of how life was 10,000 years ago. It’s time to turn back.”

In this part, he touches upon one of my favourite theories, Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. From the bottom of the hierarchy upwards, the needs are: physiological (food and clothing), safety (job security), love and belonging needs (friendship), esteem, and self-actualisation.

Needs lower down in the hierarchy must be satisfied before individuals can attend to needs higher up – we need to get back to basics.

Responding to chaos

Any entrepreneur knows there are times when things do not go smoothly and many situations can be out of your control.

As Steven says: “You are not what happened to you, you are how you chose to handle it.”

While it can be difficult in practice to let your head rule your heart, it’s important to respond rather than react, and make decisions based on past memories rather than current (heightened) emotions.

The eighth wonder of the world

“Success is the result of your consistency invisibly compounding for or against you over long periods of time.”

I knew consistency was really important, but this chapter really hit home for me about the compounding effect of it.

Compounding doesn’t just have financial relevance – it applies to all areas of life. Steven linked it back to social media followers, stating how it’s much faster and easier to get to 1m followers when you already have 10,000 than getting to that first 10,000. Unfortunately, many people give up in the early, difficult years.

Instant gratification and overnight successes are aspirational goals for many people today, but it is important to think about the bigger picture and put the work in now for success in the future.

It’s this chapter in which Steven talks about the power of invisible PR, and how important the small things are. Whether that’s helpful gestures, kindness or positive words, done on a regular basis over an extended period of time, it can really help to determine future success.

No regrets

I loved the reflections on psychology and neuroscience throughout the book, many focused on how our perceptions shape our reality.

As Steven says: “99% of the harm is caused in your head by you and your thoughts. 1% of the harm is caused by reality, what actually happens and the outcome. Most of the time, the problem isn’t the problem. The way you think about the problem is.”

The book ends with a list of don’ts as opposed to dos: a final takeaway of those things you will regret.

• Allowing your potential to remain trapped behind strangers’ opinions
• Spending more time thinking about the past than living in the moment.
• Time spent with people that don’t want the best for you.
• Neglecting family.
• Never taking risks.

I certainly didn’t regret taking the time out to read this book, and I particularly appreciated the bonus recommended reading list at the end of it.

Conclusion

To be honest, the book didn’t teach me much that I hadn’t read already. However, it did apply much of it to a more modern take on everything, as well as condensing a lot of theories and knowledge into one easy-to-read book.

My only minor criticism, and I’m aware I’m going to sound like my mother here, was that it’s sometimes a bit ‘sweary’, which I did find unnecessary at times.

However I suppose if by throwing in the odd expletive every other page or so is a way to resonate with a younger audience and guide them away from the abyss of social media, then so be it.